Branch Dildonians - After the Occupation
Dildos warn of booby traps The Ballad Of The Malheur Patriots Here there are, your Bundy Militia themed Valentine's Day cards. 'Ammon' love with you, Valentine when you thought it was over, thousands of new occupiers are flooding the Malheur Refuge Guns, Bombs, and Poop. No word on the dildos The government finally allows Cliven Bundy to live rent free on federal land. Mission accomplished Shawna Cox files Sovereign Dildo brief with court Grand jury indicts dildo sandwich Slogan: "Returning the land to its rightful owners." Reality: Burns Paiute tribal chairwoman is getting threats from dildo patriots Cliven Bundy allowed to return home to Nevada Dildupdate: Arraignments scheduled for Wednesday, Ammon's lawyer argues he's too much of an attention whore to ever skip bail, and a new pic of Ammon staring out of a prison window Who knew a camping trip could cost $3.3 million? Jailed leaders of second armed siege against law enforcement get judgesplained that presumed innocence does not include presumed bail It's like hunting cape buffalo. They're nasty, they're smart, and they won't hesitate to charge Bundy militia set off Malheur National Wildlife Refuge workers' spidey senses weeks before occupation Trump campaign official arrested for ties to the Bundy Dildo Brigade New Hampshire Branch Dildonian seeks release. Should have kept a dildo or two Considering how many "totally super-patriotic and not racist at all" idiots discover an abiding love of MLK Jr while in prison, we really need to entertain the idea of throwing entire states into the clink on general principle New dildonian passenger video shows LaVoy Finicum's last moments - and demolishes Bundy conspiracies Bundy protest rally scheduled for Thursday at the Las Vegas courthouse. I'm not saying everyone within 200 miles should drive down and wave dildos at them, but it'd be pretty funny if everyone within 200 miles drove down and waved dildos at them The Branch Didonians could be in prison for twenty years. That's a lot of batteries Cliven Bundy was selling cattle faster than the BLM could round them up. Dildos Cliven Bundy refuses to recognize federal authority at a place where they recognize federal authority Dildonian defendant says he only "borrowed" government truck, didn't steal it. Bonus: says the feds have no authority, God is his lawyer, and he's never won in court Nevada legislator defends weaponized Branch Dildoians as just humble campers MAr 16 2016 OPB releases audio of January 9th meeting in Burns between disgusted local leaders begging everyone to GTFO and pro-Bundy legislators/lobbyists saying LALALALALA Mar 17 2016 Dildonian feeling left out says he'll "start shooting federal law enforcement officers" if he's not arrested too. Guess what happens next March 18, 2016 Oregon Public radio finds proof that local GOP officials were involved in planning and coordinating the armed takeover of the Malhuer wildlife refuge by the Branch Dildonians and promised to help a violent criminal run for office if he participated March 18, 2016 Ryan Dildonian shows those weeks in jail have had no effect on his finely developed decision-making ability March 19, 2016 Sovereign Citizen tells judge "I own the land" and can't be arrested. Land is slow raising bail for its owner not really dildonian, but related somewhat Team Trump hand-picked a Team Dildoian will post to Politics » on 21 Mar 2016 at 5:49 AM (3 hours from now) Does this thread belong here? The feds acquired more dildos More Cliven Bundy sons arrested on fed charges another related thread The next stop on the Dildopalooza tour will be in Sanders County Montana, where potatriots are threatening armed standoff in order to prevent arrest of Malheur National Wildlife Refuge suspect Jake Ryan March 22 2016 830 PM US Fish & Wildlife Administration take reporters on tour of Malheur refuge after Dildo House toga party March 24 2016 7:57 AM The Dildos will get two at the same time March 26, 2016 11:28 AM The Bundy Manifesto. The stupid can't burn any hotter than this March 27, 2016 8:37 PM Birds and staff returning to the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge deal with Ryan Bundy touching their stuff March 28 2016 3:18 PM A new generation of Dildonians arises to take up the torch April 5, 2016 Not directly related to the wildlife refuge Clark County family finds dildo in their shed April 8 2016 4:55 AM The Branch Dildonian road show headed to Las Vegas, featuring refusals to enter pleas, offering a pocket constitution to the prosecutors, and Ammon's Oregon lawyer getting thrown out of court for using a cell phone April 16, 2016 6:24 PM Ammon Bundy's defense -- the federal government doesn't own federal land. See, they have recently discovered documents from 1787. Yep, his lawyers are really gonna try it APril 24, 2016 3:04 PM Dozens of supporters gather to protest treatment of Branch Dildonians. With helpful pic of what the media thinks dozens of supporters look like. Dozens May 1, 2016 8:05 AM Do you have a GED in law and an account on Facebook? If so Ammon Bundy's lawyer needs your help to crowd source his research May 2,2016 7:57 PM Kansas DCFS finally gets around to doing something about the Branch Dildonian who thought the Malheur Wildlife refuge occupation was a "bring your kids to work day" activity May 4, 2016 1:29 PM Freedom-fighting Dildoian busted by FBI for possession of stolen fully-automatic .50 caliber freedom machine plus a cache of libertysplosives May 7, 2016 7:30 AM Bundy wife: ZOMG, they're wasting away in jail. They're skinny and frail. Bundy lawyer: ZOMG, they're emaciated. Jail records: They've gained 10 and 20 pounds May 7, 2016 1:45PM Cliven Bundy doubles down on his "Fark it, I'm suing everybody" approach: "Obama wants to sell my ranch to the Communist Chinese" MAy 11, 2016 7:27 AM Dildonain Corey Lequieu pleads guilty to conspiracy because of A) Freedom, B) his rank is below admiral, or C) his long criminal history. Bonus: he won't talk to the government May 20, 2016 3:25 AM Feds seek seizure of Dildonian dicks May 26, 2016 6:25 AM Hey where'd all those cash Dildonations go May 26, 2016 9:24 AM Dildonians are demanding that they be allowed their 2nd Amendment rights... while they are in prison May 26, 2016 10:58 AM Militiaman who calls himself the 'Picasso of machine guns' was arrested for trying to smuggle one to members of the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge occupation May 29. 2016 6:19 AM Cliven Bundy only pawn... in game of life May 29, 2016 7:26 AM When you fire one lawyer and hire another, make sure the new one is qualified to defend you in the court that is prosecuting you. This means you, Ammon Bundy May 31, 2016 4:29 PM Oregon Judge dismisses one of the gun charges against Ammon Bundy, 7 co-dildonians June 11, 2016 7:29 AM Commander of Utah patriot "militia" arrested for trying to blow up a Bureau of Land Management office. Can we call these guys terrorists yet, or is that still not Patriotically Correct? June 23, 2016 9:26 PM Not a direct dildonian connection, but an indirect one, stashing link here Dildo brothers want federal prosecutors jailed alongside them because that would only be fair. Or something July 12, 2016 6:00 PM Ryan Bundy was just practicing his ranching skills by braiding those bedsheets together JUly 19, 2016 12:54 AM Dildonian Ryan Bundy's latest ultimatum: Either pay him $1,000,000 to act as his own judge in his upcoming trial, or compensate him $100,000,000 for being a defendant. And, oh yeah -- he's created in God's image, too July 29, 2016 7:17 AM Branch Dildonian, and Star of the I AM ANGRY ABOUT THE DILDO video, pleads guilty. 11 of 26 down August 15, 2016 6:10 PM Sleep tight, Oregonians. Bundy Militia sympathizer and "Constitutional Sheriff" Glenn Palmer has a private force of 65 untrained, uncertified, "special deputies" he's appointed August 20, 2016 6:10 PM You'd screw your face up into a snarl too, if you were being defended by an ex-felon "volunteer paralegal" August 24, 2016 5:30 AM Day one of the Dildo trials: "No, Ryan, you can't dress up like a cowboy in my courtroom" September 7, 2016 5:09 PM "Affluenza" poster boys Ryan and Ammon Bundy still having trouble with authority, to the surprise of absolutely no one September 11, 2016 10:38 AM Dildonians thought their Facebook talks were private and couldn't be used in court. Suprisingly, they were wrong. Patriot revolution expected nationwide after the kids go to bed September 12, 2016 3:22 PM Dildonian Trial Day 1: The biggest surprise so far is that Ryan Bundy hasn't lost his pro se status yet. Predictions on when and how it will happen to the right September 14,2016 7:05 AM Dildo trial, day 3: In an inadvertent comment on Bundy family animal husbandry practices, Ammon's lawyer claims client is being "molested like an animal" September 15, 2016 4:48 PM The prosecution has rested in the Dildo trial, now it is the Dildofense's turn. Will they try to bring up Finicum's death again? How many times will they misquote the constitution? The warm-ups are over the real show is about to begin September 28, 2016 7:05 AM Dildonian says Daddy Issues are the reason for the occupation October 5, 2016 9:20 AM Head Dildonian Ammon Bundy defends his aviary siege in court, saying it was a peaceful action to try and gather support for his imaginary cause October 6, 2016 9:26 AM Jury to decide the fate of Branch Dildonian domestic terrorists whose bold strategy to overthrow the government was take over an aviary October 20, 2016 8:39 AM Branch Dildonians found not guilty, still dildos October 27,2016 7:44 PM Bundy acquittal so ridiculous even his own attorney is stunned. By U.S. Marshals October 28, 2016 1:20 PM Branch Dildonians were acquitted because the jury didn't know what the definition of "conspiracy" was October 28, 2016 3:14 PM Alt-Right activists: Who knew we could just invade federal buildings and get away with it? Good information to have November 1, 2016 6:18 AM President Obama declares Cliven Bundy's cows a national monument December 29, 2016 12:49 PM (is on topic?> Bundy group at it again] December 31, 2016 8:00 AM hmm, maybe there needs to be a new article for the ongoing saga of the Dildonians. Just as the Cheeto Circus gets going, the Dildonians are back February 10, 2017 5:01 AM The trial of the next batch of Branch Dildonians continues, featuring a video of these peaceful protestors discussing whether or not to execute federal employees and their families February 24, 2017 7:50 AM Despite all the dildos, they failed to get off[ March 11, 2017 4:31 AM this is more of an aftermath thread [http://www.fark.com/comments/9583392 Branch Dildoan sympathizer appears before judge for ratting out FBI informants. Odds are he'll replace Comey May 10, 2017 4:50 PM related Trump's first pardon sentenced to 7 years for role in Bundy ranch standoff June 1, 2017 4:19 AM related A second jury has let some of the Bundy Bunch go, this time in Nevada August 22, 2017 7:44 AM related - Y'all Qaeda case dismissed with prejudice January 8, 2018 4:37 PM related - Wondering how the Bundy's escaped justice? A short and clear explainer on how the prosecutors violated their Constitutional rights January 11 2018 12:18 AM You can now add 'Firing on federal law enforcement and destruction of government property' to the list of pardonable offenses July 10, 2018 10:38 AM FBI agent charged with lying about shooting at Tarpman is found not guilty. Dildo August 11, 2018 6:57 AM If Nevada elects its first Democratic governor in 24 years, it could have the leader of the Branch Dildonians, Cliven' Bundy's son Ryan, to thank for it November 5, 2018 6:22 PM Dildonian denied. The system worked. WE GOT ONE September 4, 2019 2:30 PM On the anniversary of the Branch Dildonian invasion, the Hammond boys have their grazing permits revoked permanently Dec 21, 2019 at 7:19 PM